Seven Deadly Thoughts of Leaders

by Thom S. Rainer

By the time we hear of a leadership failure, any attempts at intervention to save the leader are usually futile. The damage has been done. The family or organization suffers as their leader has fallen or, at the very least, made a major mistake.
Most great leadership failures, however, don’t begin with some stupid action. The leader usually has thoughts about the action well before he or she actually makes them. Some of those thoughts can be warning signs to heed. They are like the bright, flashing red light that demands we stop. Failure to stop can result in great harm.
I’ve had the opportunity through the years to listen to leaders talk about their biggest victories and their greatest failures. When the latter takes place, these leaders reflect that, most of the time, the failure took place in a deadly thought pattern. They lament they didn’t recognize these deadly thoughts for the warnings that they were. Here are the seven most significant warning thoughts I’ve heard:

1. “It won’t hurt to compromise a little.” So the numbers get fudged a bit. Or the private meeting with someone of the opposite gender is deemed harmless. Or you take credit for something you didn’t do.
2. “I can give my family time later in life when I’m more established.” You may not even have a family if you wait until later. Few leaders have ever died wishing they had put more hours into work. Many have died lamenting their failure to give their family time and attention.
3. “No one really pays attention to what I do.” Wrong! If you are a leader, many people are watching you more closely than you think. In organizations, those under your leadership watch you closely. In families, the children watch the parents with an eye for detail that can be downright humbling. What are they seeing when they watch you?
4. “I need to be careful not to rock the boat.” Granted, some people put their mouths in action before their minds are in gear. But too many leaders, to mix the metaphor from a boat to an athletic event, play defense and not offense. They are too risk averse. They are more worried about failure than proactive leadership. Thus their thought patterns are almost always about playing it safe.
5. “I can put off that tough decision until later.” Leaders often think difficult decisions can be put on hold. They are involved in “analysis paralysis” thinking as an excuse to defer the decisions. Their thinking leads them to deadly procrastination.
6. “That person messed up five years ago. He doesn’t deserve a second chance.” Many driven leaders shared with me that they failed to demonstrate forgiveness and grace in their leadership role. Their thought patterns focused on the failures of those in the organization or family. They thus “wrote off” these people. When a time came in the leader’s life where he needed an extra measure of grace or forgiveness shown, few people were willing to give him what he himself failed to give.
7. “My main goal is money.” Money is not evil; the love of money is. If leaders’ thought patterns are consumed with money, problems are on the horizon. Money can be an instrument for good or evil. The goal is not to make money, but to make a difference with your money.

I am grateful to be able to hear from leaders who shared with me openly and transparently. What would you add to these seven deadly thoughts? Here are ones sent in:

#8: “If I don’t do it no one will.” or “No one is going to do it as well as I.” We need to kill the fear of delegation. Know your people. Know their gifts. Put their gifts to work! In my experience, folks don’t walk up and volunteer. They aren’t lazy, they simply don’t know the need unless we reveal the need. In most cases (for whatever the reason) we would rather do it ourselves than to reach out.

#8 “I can’t do that! I’m a leader and people are watching.” – 1 Tim 3 teaches us that overseers should be “above reproach” but leaders must always remember that whether you are a leader or not, we are called to holiness. We must be serious about avoiding sin but a leader’s motivation must never be for self-image but always to glorify God. Guard your hearts!

#8 “I’m too important to step down. This ministry can’t survive without me.”
Any real Christian ministry belongs to the Lord Jesus, not the servants who work there. He can provide whatever it needs, including someone to replace you, or another ministry to replace “yours”.

#8 I would add “If I apologize or admit weakness, people will stop following me.” I have only once served under a leader who apologized for his mistakes and sought forgiveness on a personal level with those he had spoken harshly too or misjudged.

How worship smashes the idol of lust

Rick Duncan
"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit" (II Corinthians 3:18).

Recently, a friend trusted me enough to share with me his struggle to be free from lust. He hates the fact that he can't consistently overcome the temptation to linger long in looking at what he knows will bring momentary pleasure, but lasting shame. He knows it's hurting his marriage.

We talked about the normal approaches in the fight to overcome lustful thinking. Accountability? Check. Read Every Man's Battle? Check. Prayer? Check. Tell your spouse about your struggle to gain accountability and support? Check.

All these tools and techniques are good. They help my friend for awhile. Then he falls back into the sin that he wants desperately to overcome. His spiritually informed willpower to win isn't working.

I said, "What if your problem isn't really lust, but idolatry? Maybe what you really want is to be valued, prized, pursued, desired, and empowered. What if your fantasies run deeper than the simple rush from lust? What if what you really long for are things like being affirmed, respected, touched, received, and accepted? The lusting is rooted in the fantsy that some beautiful woman values you so much that she seeks intimacy with you. What if the problem isn't lust, but idolatry?"

An idol is something that we put in the place of God. It's something that we love, serve, and allow to dictate our behavior more than God. In the case of lust, it's not the picture that's the idol. It's the sense of vitality that comes from the fantasy accompanying the lust.

In the Old Testament, the saints of God were praised when they took down the high places of worship and smashed the idols. We have to do the same. We have to be idol smashers.

How? We repent and replace.

We receive the grace and mercy that comes from the gospel of Christ. We embrace the fact that Jesus already paid the price for our forgiveness when He died on the cross in our place for our sin. We refuse to live in shame. Past, present, and future lust has already been forgiven.

Then, we realize that that the most real, most powerful, most imporant Person, Jesus, truly values, prizes, pursues, desires, and empowers us. The King of kings and Lord of lords, Maker of heaven and earth, the Sovereign God, the Beautiful One actually affirms, respects, touches, receives, and accepts us.

We realize that we don't need the fantasy from a fake flickering image to feel vitalized. We are valued by God. Knowing that we have great worth to Christ makes lust become cheap and tawdry in our eyes. Why would we settle for a fantasy when we could have reality with God?

While reading books about freedom from lust might help, I suggested that my friend read books about Christ and the gospel. I suggested that he try The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Tim Keller and Hunger for God by John Piper.

Ultimately, it's worship that sets us free from lust. It will be a lifelong battle to worship the way Jesus deserves and the way that sets us free. We will have advances and set backs. But as we prize Jesus more and more, we will be set free. We will be able to say, "Christ is my all in all" and "For me to live is Christ."

We can learn to meditate on how Jesus truly values, prizes, pursues, desires, empowers, affirms, respects, touches, receives, and accepts us. We can learn to love Him more for all that. We can turn our eyes upon Jesus and look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth, even lust, will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.

Question: What are other idols in your life that you have seen worship smash?